Large
Defeats Little Victories
I do
some volunteer work at a day shelter for homeless folks. When the overnight
temperature drops below forty, as it did last night, the day shelter turns into
a cold weather overnight shelter. If that particular night is a Friday, I am on
duty and spend the night with my homeless brothers and sisters. Drug and
alcohol abuse is common among the homeless population. We know it and do what
we can to keep the shelter drug and alcohol free but alcoholics can be devious
and quite adept at hiding their stash. Sometimes, like last night, something
slips through. Actually, we’ve seen a bit of an uptick in empty bottles and
cans in and around the property. We’re pretty sure we know who is responsible.
Showing up drunk is one thing-most just go to bed early and sleep it off, and
from time to time the local police deposit a drunk at our door-what can you do?
Drinking on the premises is another matter altogether. Particularly with a
loud, confrontational drunk, which is what happened last night.
Chronic
homelessness combined with chronic alcoholism usually results in some serious
physical problems which, if left untreated long enough, can quickly become life-threatening.
Again, we know this-one of our primary functions is to help with basic medical
and prescription expenses. This is also why we tend to put up with loud, confrontational
drunks-better that than to have someone get pneumonia or die or both sleeping
on the street. However, being human and all, patience, while always be a virtue,
sometimes (at least in my case) just goes away, taking proper Christ-like behavior with it and the
temptation is great to just ban people forever. Or at least impose some
condition or restriction which has more to do with revenge than anything else. Love
may be tough but punishment can be relatively easy. One such confrontational
individual showed up last night. Angry words were exchanged, I went outside to
cool off (literally and figuratively); when I went back in the individual in
question had gone to bed. Morning came; my guy woke up sober, and considerably
more subdued. I took the opportunity to threaten him with Jesus; everything was
cool. Then I went outside and found an empty bottle and can in the smoking area.
Obviously something needed to be done, but what?
After
we closed up for the morning I agreed to ride a couple guys to wherever they
were staying. Turns out one of them was-you guessed it-my confrontational
drunk/prime suspect. Still pretty much in Christian revenge mode, I took the opportunity
to point out that I was not going to try to talk to him about quitting drinking
because I knew he would not (true) but because his drinking would most likely
kill him sooner rather than later (also true) he should start thinking about
his relationship with Jesus. No response. I told him the thing about Jesus is
that He meets us right where we are, so we don’t need to clean up our act
first; that drew a response.
My
guy said something to the effect that he is a child of Abraham and therefore
blessed; every day he wakes up and asks God to give him a blessing and before
the day is over he gets one. Not to be outdone (after all, no homeless guy with
a drinking problem is going to argue the Bible with me and come out on top) I
pointed out it’s not about what we can get from God but how we live our lives
that matters; the way he was living his
certainly wasn’t very pleasing. God may be blessing him but He wasn’t very
happy about it. Finally, subdued agreement. I dropped them off and went home
but the incident was not over. Still in revenge/punishment mode I sent out a
group text informing the other staff that I found empty bottles again and
something needs to be done. That only made things worse. Something needs to be
done indeed, but what?
Which
brings me (finally, thank heaven) to the point of this post. In the spring of
this year a co-worker and I attended a two-day seminar given by a guy who has
had good success working with homeless men and women and now spends a good part
of his time traveling the country sharing what he’s learned over the years. One
thing in particular stands out in my memory which is particularly relevant
here-for the homeless with drug and alcohol addictions victory is relevant.
That is to say, they most likely will never be completely clean and sober; one
day or one night or a couple hours for them is a victory. Take your wins where
you can get them and adjust your standards. Even though the presenter claims
not to believe in God-at least, the same God I believe in-there is much Godly
wisdom in that statement.
My
alcoholic friend was right in one very important sense-he is blessed every day.
Where he is mistaken, however, is in this-the blessing is life itself. Same
blessing each and every one of us receives. Every day. God does not allow him
(or us) to live so he can continue his drinking unabated. He allows him (and
us) to live because God’s steadfast love means every day is a new opportunity to
come out of hiding and return to Him. My friend’s problem is he allows his
drinking to get between himself and God. We all do it-we all have something
that gets between us and God and prevents us from seeing Him clearly, from
being in His presence, from receiving His best blessings so we can be His best
blessing in the lives of others. I know this probably better than most, but I’m
working on it. Or rather, God is working on me.
Back
to our homelessness expert-the wisdom lies precisely in the day to day, hour to
hour nature of life. We can’t cure anybody. Putting conditions and restrictions
and imposing punishments won’t do it either. What we can do is love those whom
God sends our way while we have them-rejoice with their victories and morn
their failures and try to keep them from harming themselves as best we can,
realizing our anger does not accomplish anything. This last is becoming a difficult
lesson for me to learn. In other words, small victories. One day or one night
or a couple hours or minutes. I had a couple good hours with my guy this
morning; for now that will have to do.
P.S.
As I’m writing this I receive word the other guy I transported this morning-my
guy’s partner, also alcoholic-is now drunk, again. The struggle continues. I
can only pray he doesn’t end up beaten or robbed or passed out in someone’s
bushes. Baby steps. Small victories.
